Irreconcilable Differences
by imahistorian
Summary: A misunderstanding and argument between Kensi and Deeks ensues when Kensi is offered a position with the NCIS Red Team. The question of what being partners really means when one half is thinking about leaving is posed when Deeks gets himself into some trouble, Kensi comes to his rescue, and a mystery has to be solved. Slight Densi, speculation for 4x18 "Red," Kensi POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Note: **They say it takes a village to raise a child. And sometimes it takes one (or at least a great, supporting group of fellow writers) to write a fic. The idea for this little story (which will be a total of five chapters in length) came while I was on vacation in Oceanside, CA, in February. The sleepy little southern California beach town and the possibility for Deeks getting himself into a big mess was too good to resist. My dear friend Anna (**thepixiesmademedoit**) had the inception of the idea of Kensi possibly being offered a position with the NCIS Red Team, and it took off from there. My deepest thanks to Angela (**Angela6257**) for the suggestions and support, and to Jenn (**MioneAlterEgo**) for her beta prowess. And if you do, thank you for reading, reviewing, and following along!

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"_So that's it? You were going to make this decision, leave NCIS, give up on our partnership, and you weren't going to talk to me about it first?"_

"_I haven't actually made any final decisions, Deeks. Besides, it isn't as though I thought I'd always stay here in Los Angeles, here at NCIS. I don't know if this is what I want for the rest of my career. It can't be what you want for yourself."_

"_It could have been. I thought it might be."_

"_Liaison to NCIS for the LAPD? Partnered with me? Always reporting to other people? Don't you think you'll eventually want more?"_

"_I want to be your partner, Kensi. Everything else is secondary. Was secondary. But it doesn't sound like you're content with just that."_

* * *

She woke with a start, her eyes flying open and her heart racing. Kensi turned her head quickly, trying to figure out what had shaken her from sleep. And she groaned when her eyes fell on her bedside clock, the display reading a mocking 4:15AM. She sat up, slumping over at the waist in tired defeat. She was so exhausted from not sleeping.

It was the third night in a row where she hadn't slept. Not _really_ slept. She'd gotten a few minutes here and there, a catnap or two, but nothing that left her rested. And it galled her that she knew exactly why. It was all his fault.

Ever since Friday afternoon when Deeks had taken off, too angry to talk to her and too hurt to let her near, she'd been rocked by unsettling and unwelcome feelings of regret and irritation. She didn't think she'd done anything wrong and felt as though the blame and anger he directed at her wasn't deserved. And if there was one thing Kensi Blye hated, it was being blamed for something she hadn't done.

Besides, if he'd just listened to her, let her explain, let her talk, maybe he wouldn't have gotten so mad. But he hadn't listened past what he thought he'd heard: Granger had offered her a position with the NCIS Red Team.

An elite undercover team, the Red Team never stayed in one place for very long and they were comprised of the very best NCIS agents. They worked together, traveled together, and solved some of the most complex criminal cases in the Navy. Kensi had heard stories about them and their exclusivity for a few years. The Red Team had seemed like a fascinating prospect but not one she ever figured she would qualify for.

But then Granger had approached her earlier in the week, suggesting that the team had an opening and that he would recommend her for it if she were interested. And Kensi had been more than surprised. She hadn't thought Granger had much of an opinion of her. Or whatever opinion he had she'd been sure wasn't favorable.

She'd mulled the offer over. And she'd realized that there were things she would miss if she left NCIS and Los Angeles. Sam, Callen, Nell, Eric, and Hetty, certainly. The beach in Malibu, Crumbs Bakery, music at the Hollywood Bowl, and coffee from Aroma, for sure. But all those things and people weren't enough to make her hesitate from turning down the opportunity. There was only one person who made her truly consider saying no. Deeks. And so she'd thought about it, made some plans, worked some deals. And she'd hoped she might have a solution that would work for both of them.

So when she'd gone to Deeks and had explained the initial offer Granger made, his reaction had more than stunned her. In hindsight she probably could have worded it better. Saying she had an incredible opportunity for a job that would take her away from Los Angeles and out of contact with everyone at NCIS had sounded as though she was trying to get away from him. She realized that now in her excitement to explain it all to Deeks, that she hadn't described it well.

But Deeks had jumped to conclusions. He hadn't let her finish, hadn't let her explain. Kensi had grown frustrated that he assumed what he wanted to about her and instead of talking about the position with the Red Team, their conversation had turned ugly. The loud and angry words were followed by accusatory and biting remarks that neither could find a way to take back once they were spoken out loud.

Their conversation hadn't really concluded. It just ended when Deeks walked away. Kensi had been sure he would cool off and then call or text her, a chagrined apology in his warm voice. And she would have told him to come over and then they would really talk. And she would tell him her plan.

But the call never came. Friday night ended with her tossing and turning, a little worried that Deeks hadn't called. All day Saturday her worry had turned to an unfamiliar sadness that he didn't get in touch to try and work things out. Saturday night she'd felt more than a little pitiful looking at her phone every five minutes and she'd drunk enough vodka in her Coke that it should have knocked her out. Instead, she stared up at the ceiling all night.

Sunday had been overtaken by anger. Kensi knew she wasn't always the easiest woman to deal with, but Deeks was no picnic either. He might put up with a lot when it came to her, but that street went both ways. In the back of her mind Kensi heard a small voice suggesting _she _could call Deeks, but she shoved a cookie into her mouth to shut that voice up.

And so her sleep on Sunday night had been a maelstrom of angry and irritated emotions. Her annoyance with Deeks kept her practically vibrating and wide awake. Somehow she'd managed a little bit of sleep, only to be awoken by some random and indiscernible noise that now left her alert in a way she didn't want to be before dawn.

"This is all his fault," Kensi announced out loud, glaring at the clock as the numbers flipped higher, and ever closer to her usual wake up time to go to work.

She sighed and closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. She had to sleep. She could not show up at OSP with bags under her eyes and red, scratchy eyes. Deeks would know she'd been bothered all weekend after their exchange on Friday. And she couldn't have that.

She would absolutely not dwell on how his walking away had hurt. How she'd felt more than a little lost and alone after he'd left her standing in the gym at OSP. She would not think about how stunned she'd been to walk into the bullpen and find his bag gone, his "have a nice weekend" farewell greetings given to Sam and Callen, but not a word for her. She would not think about it. Because thinking about it made a kind of throbbing pain pulse over her heart. And she did not want to think about that either.

Just as she could feel peaceful sleep coming, the cell phone on her bedside table rang, piercing the dark silence of her bedroom. Kensi groaned, then rolled over to check the caller ID. She squinted at the area code. 760. That was somewhere in southern California, outside of the main city and suburbs of Los Angeles. The number was unfamiliar. But it was her NCIS-issued phone ringing and nobody called that unless they meant to.

"Hello?"

"Kensi."

"Deeks? What the hell are you doing calling me at—" Kensi glanced at the bedside clock, her irritation growing. "—Four thirty in the morning?"

He hadn't called all weekend but he called before dawn on Monday morning. He'd let her stew for two days. Somehow this made her angrier rather than relieved at finally hearing from him.

"Kensi, I need you to come get me."

Her eyes narrowing at the tired stress she could hear in his voice, Kensi felt a twinge in her gut. Something was wrong. She concentrated on the sounds coming across the phone, hearing the loud echoing over the line even while she couldn't make out the words. He was somewhere with hard, unfinished walls in what sounded like a large, open room.

"Deeks, where are you? You'd better be dead after taking off on Friday without a backwards word."

"Not dead. But I really need you to come get me."

"What happened to your car? Where are you?" Kensi repeated.

"Oceanside."

"Oceanside? As in two hours south of Los Angeles? Near Camp Pendleton? That Oceanside? Take a train if you're having car trouble. I'm not driving two hours to pick you up, Deeks," Kensi replied testily.

"I'll explain when you get here. Just—please, Kensi. Will you come?" Deeks asked, his voice giving way to a note of desperation she was not at all familiar or comfortable hearing from him.

"Fine," Kensi said shortly. "Where exactly am I going?"

Deeks recited an address and thanked her, hanging up before she could ask him more questions about what was going on. Shaking her head, Kensi dressed quickly, getting into her car and on the road south before the major commuter traffic jammed up I-5. Kensi made a stop for coffee north of Anaheim, also leaving a message with Hetty to let her know she was going to be late since she had to go rescue Deeks, and then she continued navigating south, the interstate turning west to nearly hug the coast.

Just past Camp Pendleton, Kensi started to see signs for Oceanside. The sun was beginning to come up, shining through the high clouds over the eastern hills. Following the directions from her GPS, she took the Mission Avenue exit, heading inland. But it was when she pulled into the parking lot of the address Deeks gave her that the pieces began to fall together. And her heart nearly stopped, the earlier angry words she'd exchanged with Deeks wiped away.

Oceanside Police Department.

Kensi entered the building quickly, approaching the front desk. Oceanside seemed like a sleepy little beach town and it was still early, so one lone person stood behind the counter, clearly beginning the morning rounds of making coffee and getting ready for the day. And she didn't really think, just reached for her badge and held it up for the officer to see.

"Agent Kensi Blye, NCIS. I'm here to see Detective Marty Deeks."

The officer took in the badge and glanced at Kensi's face, then shifted his knowing eyes around to the police officer sitting at a desk behind him.

"Sanchez. A Fed here to see the guy in lock up. Get her signed in and then take her back."

Kensi tried not to blurt out her immediate questions but kept her gaze measured as the officer, a young Hispanic man, stood to meet her at the counter. She signed in quickly, Sanchez taking an agonizingly long time to write down her badge information. The other officer took the sheet with her information on it, staring at her pointedly.

"I'm going to check you out. And I expect you'll want to talk after you've seen him."

Not really caring about "after" when all she wanted to know right then was that her partner was safe, Kensi nodded quickly. Sanchez led her behind the counter, taking her through several locked gates to the cells in the rear of the station. After each one her heart pounded a little louder, and then suddenly Deeks was in front of her.

Sanchez gave her a quick nod, then departed, leaving them alone. Deeks was sitting on the bench inside the locked cell, his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands. He was wearing medical scrubs and paper slippers. Her heart clenched at the sight, realizing his clothing had been taken for evidence.

Kensi took a silent step forward, her fingers curling around the cold bars of the cell. Even without him looking up at her she could see how tired he was. There was even a hint of a confused and lost little boy in how his head was bowed, his fingers covering his eyes.

"Deeks."

At the sound of his name, Deeks' head shot up. There had been worry in his eyes, completely wiped away when he saw her. He breathed her name with relief and stood to cross the cell in two strides.

"Kensi."

She let herself reach for him, circled his wrists with her hands, any further movements restricted by the bars. Deeks leaned in, as if he were seeking her embrace, but checked himself at the metal barrier between them. Kensi looked over him quickly, reassured to find that he seemed fine. No overt signs of injury.

"How did you get here? What are you doing in there? What happened?" Kensi asked quickly. Deeks' eyes fell from her, the relief he'd felt upon seeing her replaced with something else. Perplexed, Kensi watched as Deeks stepped back from her, running his hands through his hair before he turned partially away, a deep sigh lifting and dropping his shoulders.

"They think I killed someone."

* * *

_To be continued_


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: **Thank you for the lovely reviews, alerts, and favorites! I do love a cliffhanger and the one from Chapter 1 won't be the last! This story has a very specific beginning and ending point so I won't leave anyone hanging for long. My deepest thanks to **MioneAlterEgo **and **Angela6257** for the beta and feedback help, you gals are awesome. And now, on with the show. Thanks for reading, and reviewing if you do!

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**Chapter 2**

"_It isn't about being content. It's about a challenge. Joining the Red Team would be that. Besides, it isn't as though our partnership would be over—"_

"_You're talking about taking a position with an elite team that never stays in one place for very long and I'm a cop with the LAPD. It sounds like our partnership would be over."_

"_If you would just listen to what I'm saying—"_

"_Kensi, I can't imagine anything you could say that would make this okay. I know you have abandonment issues with the men in your life. I just never thought you'd turn around and abandon me."_

"_I can't believe you just said that."_

"_If the shoe fits."_

* * *

"'Killed someone.' You?" Kensi repeated, dumbfounded. She would have laughed, would have insisted Deeks was telling a joke, except for the dejected nod and the miserable look in his eyes when he finally looked back at her.

Kensi rocked back on her heels, gathering her thoughts by stepping away from the bars, putting a little distance between herself and Deeks. He was watching her warily, as if her reactions were more important than his next breath. She tried to think past the lightheaded haze that seemed to block rational thought. Deeks was in a jail cell, accused of murder. Nothing had ever seemed more wrong.

"What happened?" Kensi asked. Deeks paused, as if reluctant to fill her in. Frustrated, Kensi propped her hands on her hips, her tone turning annoyed. "I can't help get you out of there if you don't tell me what happened."

"Okay, okay. Just let me get through it all. Don't judge until you get the whole story, alright?"

"Fine. No judging," Kensi agreed, even while a tingle at the base of her spine warned her that she probably wasn't going to like what he had to say. If Deeks of all people was worried about her opinion, there was probably reason to be concerned. He allowed himself to be the joke of most banter and conversations but when Deeks was deadly serious and not making light of a situation she took notice. She knew from Sam and Callen that he saved his most serious reactions for when he wasn't there to cover her back or he had to watch from a distance while she was undercover. The guys usually laughed it off as Deeks overreacting. Deep down she knew it took a lot to shake his confidence. But Kensi could tell he was doubting himself, which struck her as a bad sign.

"I drove into Oceanside on Friday night. Surfed all day Saturday and most of Sunday."

Kensi nodded even as the bruised part of her ego wanted to pipe in that it was nice to know he'd been so busy surfing and hadn't thought to call her after their argument on Friday. He had to know she'd been upset. But he'd gone to the beach instead of trying to work things out.

"I went to a bar Sunday night. I figured I'd get a drink, then head back to where I was staying, get up early and drive back to Los Angeles Monday morning," Deeks paused, his eyes looking far away and past her. "Last thing I remember was finishing my drink. I woke up this morning when the police knocked down the door."

"You were back at your hotel?"

"I was at my step dad's beach house."

Kensi shook her head in surprise. "Your step dad?"

"Yeah, Gary married my mom a couple years after my dad went away to prison. He's a real estate developer and he owns property all over. He has a beach house in Oceanside and I come down to surf and escape sometimes."

"Escape?"

Deeks leveled his eyes at her, his expression wary. "I needed to get away after Friday. I didn't know what to say to you. I needed some time to think."

"You needed time to think."

Deeks frowned. "I wish you'd stop just repeating what I'm saying. I can't figure out what you're thinking."

"Well, after Friday that makes two of us," Kensi replied shortly, trying not to let her anger rise at how when they'd argued Deeks hadn't even bothered to try and listen to her, and she'd spent the rest of the weekend wondering what he was thinking. And he'd been surfing.

"Can we not get into that right now? Can we just table that until I'm not facing a murder charge?" Deeks said tiredly. Kensi nodded roughly just once, trying to look past her feelings to the unsettling realism of Deeks in jail.

"So the police charged in?" Kensi prompted, returning to Deeks' narrative.

"That's where things get strange," Deeks hedged. At her raised eyebrows, he sighed and continued. "I was in bed. There was a woman with me. And she was dead."

The silence that followed Deeks' words felt as heavy and hollow as the weight that settled uncomfortably in her stomach.

"You took a woman home and she somehow ended up dead in your bed, with you?" Kensi asked flatly. Deeks nodded miserably and Kensi turned away from him and closed her eyes against the unfamiliar and unwanted emotions rearing up within her.

It was like the flash of fire and then a wave of shivering ice that left her almost physically shaking. It was jealousy mixed with anger, regret and shame. All directed inward. She was the only target worthy of her own upside down and inside out emotions. She had no right to be jealous of Deeks with another woman but she felt it anyway. Feeling jealous made her angry. And the anger was purely directed at herself. Anger for feeling as she did, in an uncontrollable flood of regret over what she might have wanted, and deep, buried shame that she let her fears hold her back.

"I don't know how she got there. They said it looked like she'd been strangled. I've seen plenty of dead bodies before. But this was different," Deeks said faintly. The uncertainty in his voice pulled at her, yanked her away from stewing in her own emotional abyss, and she turned back to Deeks. He was so pale, his eyes swimming with loss and confusion.

She'd rarely seen him so open and vulnerable. Deeks usually had the confidence and certainty of his personality, charm, and skills to back him up. But this event, this possibility that had crashed through his life, had somehow made him question if he might be capable of murder.

Kensi took several steadying breaths, knowing that in that moment Deeks really didn't deserve her chaotic emotions. And even when he was being his most annoying, stubborn, anger inducing self, it always came from a place of good intentions. He was also a moral and good person. There was no way the man she knew was a murderer. And if he wasn't convinced of that then he needed her certainty more than ever. Because she knew he would believe her.

"It's okay," Kensi whispered, stepping back towards Deeks and reaching through the bars to touch his forearm. When he didn't respond, she squeezed, holding tight and not letting go. "Deeks, it's okay."

"How? How is this okay? Kensi, I might have killed someone," Deeks replied wildly. Kensi shook her head, her grip tightening to the point where she might leave a bruise. She had to get through to him, had to make him listen to her. Deeks didn't even flinch.

"No. You did not kill anyone." As Deeks shook his head in disbelief she raised her voice and sharpened her tone. "Listen to me. You are not a killer. I know you didn't do this."

"How can you be sure?" Deeks asked desperately.

"Because I know you. You would never hurt someone intentionally," Kensi replied, the conviction and her choice in words resonating through her head. They might disagree on a lot of things. Sometimes it was where the spark in their relationship came from, the banter and sparring back and forth over a subject. And sometimes they disagreed on the important emotional things, like what he'd said to her on Friday that had been hurtful and struck at her deeply. But she knew he would never make a point of hurting her. And if she could tell him that to try and make him believe he hadn't hurt this woman he was accused of killing, she could prove to him that she believed what she said. That she believed in him.

Deeks still looked a little skeptical, but he'd gripped her hand tightly, his fingers locked with hers as if she were the very thing holding him up and holding him together.

"What do we do now?" Deeks asked, his usual confidence clearly having taken a beating.

"We get you out of here. And we figure out what happened to you. You must have been drugged. And someone staged the scene and killed that woman hoping to blame you," Kensi replied.

"I don't remember anything after the bartender gave me my drink. After the police arrested me they confiscated my clothes and brought me here."

"Blood test?"

"They took me by the hospital on my way here and drew some blood," Deeks confirmed.

"They have your real name and identity?" Kensi asked quietly, knowing that like all of them Deeks had several identities set up, thanks to Hetty. Deeks nodded and Kensi's mind whirled, knowing the police also had her information from when she'd signed in.

"Anything else you can think of? The woman's name? Did you give a statement or call a lawyer?"

"Nothing else. I told them what I told you about the bar and waking up, but nothing else. I didn't do anything but call you."

Nodding thoughtfully, Kensi turned to head back to the main part of the station. "I'm going to see what I can do to get you released."

A plan forming in her mind, Kensi brusquely walked a few steps away, and Deeks called out after her. "I'll be waiting right here."

There had been an edge of humor to his voice and Kensi smiled to herself. If he could joke around then all wasn't lost.

Catching the attention of the first officer, the one who'd promised to verify her status as an agent, she approached him with a congenial smile. His expression in return was decidedly not swayed by her outward friendliness.

"Your friend's gotten himself into quite the situation," the officer—Gleeson—said in a tone that suggested he was not at all perturbed by a fellow police officer in distress.

"Listen, there's no way he killed anyone. You've obviously checked my credentials and I'm sure his as well. What are the chances you'll let him go while all this gets figured out?" Kensi asked. Gleeson laughed in a smug way that made Kensi's skin crawl.

"Slim to none. We have him at the scene with a dead woman. Witness statements from the bar the night before have him leaving with her. The coroner says she was strangled and he was the only one there. No other trace of anyone else at the scene. No other viable suspects. He's our guy."

Kensi ground her teeth trying to maintain a pleasant expression. "What about his blood work? Does it indicate he might have been drugged?"

Gleeson paused, losing a little of his confidence. "Inconclusive results. They couldn't say that he was drugged, couldn't say he wasn't drugged. They're going to run more tests."

"Forensics from the scene?"

"No fingerprints other than the deceased, the suspect, the cleaning lady, and the building owner," Gleeson replied.

"What about around the house? Trace evidence outside the house from shoes in the soil, tire tracks, video of cars coming and going?" Kensi said, casting about for any avenue that might provide evidence that would exonerate Deeks.

"We've got someone looking at traffic cam footage. And our forensics team did a sweep around the house, didn't come up with anything."

"I know you think you've got your guy, but someone else did this. If he killed her why would he stick around with the body? Look, we'll stay in town. But I might be able to help with your investigation. He's being set up," Kensi insisted.

"I don't need you mucking around in my investigation. He's our suspect and he's staying in that cell."

Kensi narrowed her eyes in disgust. "He's a fellow police officer and practically a federal agent. It wouldn't kill you to give him a little leeway."

"The law's the law, sweetheart."

As if on cue to interrupt her from verbally exploding at the officer, the station phone rang. Gleeson answered it, a smug look on his face. Kensi watched the man closely and noted with interest as Gleeson flushed and averted his eyes away, clearly uncomfortable. He mumbled a few words into the phone, attempted to disagree with whoever he was speaking to, and finally hung up with a dejected nod after what sounded like a very long ass chewing. He looked suspiciously at Kensi and she returned his gaze balefully.

"You have friends in high places. The mayor just called and asked us to 'extend you every courtesy,' and to make sure Ms. Lang knew we'd done so. I'll release Detective Deeks, but you two better stay in town during our investigation and I better know where you are at all times," Gleeson ordered. Kensi pressed her lips shut to keep from smiling and antagonizing the police officer further. If Hetty was on their side the chances of things working out had significantly increased.

Gleeson pawned the processing of Deeks' release off on Sanchez and after several minutes Deeks finally came from the cells at the back of the station, looking relieved to be out from behind bars. Kensi resisted the urge to touch Deeks, to pull him close and usher him out of the station as quickly as possible. Despite that, Deeks was quick to come to her side, the anxiety in his eyes clearly showing how badly he wanted to get out of the police station. As they turned to leave, Gleeson leaned over the counter, his face clearly showing his distaste.

"Don't get in the way of our investigation. And don't get too used to that fresh, free air, Detective."

Knowing she would say or do something regrettable if they stayed, Kensi led Deeks from the station and to her car, where Deeks cast her a questioning look.

"Now what?"

Kensi smiled widely, pushing past the uncertainties she still felt. "Now we get in the way of their investigation. We're going to the scene of the crime."

* * *

_To be continued_


	3. Chapter 3

**Note: **Thanks for continuing to read, alert, favorite and review! You reactions are a blast to read and I'm glad to hear from those of you enjoying the story. Thanks as always to **MioneAlterEgo **and **Angela6257 **for always keeping me on track, and to **thepixiesmademedoit **for the start of the idea that made this story possible. Two more chapters to go after this one! Thanks for reading, and reviewing if you do!

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"_So you're fine with how things are? Staying a police officer with the LAPD, straddling that line between cop and federal agent?"_

"_It's not a bad gig. I thought this was how you wanted things, too. But I guess it isn't enough for you."_

"_I never said it wasn't enough. But there's nothing wrong with trying something new, something more. Don't you want more?"_

"_I thought what we had was pretty great. I guess I was wrong."_

"_I never said that."_

"_Maybe not. But everything you're doing screams that."_

"_And you're not listening to what I'm trying to say."_

* * *

Leaving the Oceanside Police Station behind, Kensi watched as Deeks grew more and more relaxed. It was as though being freed from the confines of the jail cell had eased some of his worry over the crime he'd been accused of. And as a result of his lessening tension, Kensi felt her annoyance rise in parity.

Deeks wasn't cracking jokes and completely unconcerned, but his earlier vulnerability was tucked away. And while Kensi much preferred Deeks as level headed and in control, his ease just focused her attention on the case and the things he should have been worrying about. And the things that now, by her association to him, she had to worry about.

Like him picking up a random woman in a bar, taking her home, and somehow ending up in bed with her body after an evening most likely spent doing things that made Kensi's stomach turn over.

Following Deeks' directions, Kensi drove the car to his step dad's beach house. That was another thing clawing at the back of her mind. She hadn't known he even had a step dad. He hadn't told her and she hadn't asked. There were parts of their personal lives that they didn't talk about or resolve. And that bothered her more than she would have thought it would.

Parking the car, Kensi pulled out her phone as it rang. Seeing the caller ID, she answered quickly. "Hetty."

After several long minutes, mostly punctuated with murmurs agreeing with what Hetty told her, Kensi nodded with a glance at Deeks. "Understood. Thanks for your help getting Deeks released from jail. We'll poke around here and see what we can find. I'll keep you posted."

Kensi hung up the phone, turning to an expectant Deeks. "Hetty pulled the strings to get you released. Eric is going to send me the case file. We're supposed to see look around here and see if we can find anything to help the police."

"It's good to have friends in high places," Deeks replied. Kensi thought for a minute, thought about what she wanted to tell him that he hadn't bothered to hear from her on Friday, then nodded briskly. He hadn't been willing to listen to her then so she sure wasn't going to open up now.

"Yes, it is."

Getting out of the car, Deeks was quick to follow her. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

"What you just said. You meant something by that."

"Forget it, Deeks. You didn't want to hear what I had to say on Friday."

Deeks was silent, his eyes darkening with hurt and anger, which just raised her ire. "You want to end our partnership. I think I have a right to be pissed about that."

"Maybe. Maybe not. But since you wouldn't let me explain everything, we'll never know."

Kensi knew her response was flippant and dismissive. And she knew it would just make Deeks retreat. Just as she knew it was her defensive mechanism. But something had changed between them. Because while normally Deeks would have pushed until she told him what she meant, he stayed silent, looking away from her to stare out at the beach.

The alert on her phone brought Kensi back to the present and she quickly looked through the case file transmitted to her smart phone. Each new detail was like a cold stab to her heart. The photos from the crime scene showed a beautiful blond woman, long curly hair and lifeless blue eyes. She'd been found naked in bed with Deeks, who had been wearing flannel pants, though there'd been no evidence in the beach house to suggest sexual activity.

"Good news and bad news, Deeks," Kensi said shortly, bringing his attention back to her. "No condoms found in your beach house. So either you didn't have sex with her, or you did and it was unprotected and it'll show up in the autopsy. The coroner will know more in a couple hours after he examines the victim."

"I didn't sleep with her." Deeks looked stunned and it took Kensi a second to realize why. It wasn't because of her unsafe sex comment. It was because he was shocked she thought he might have slept with the woman at all.

"How do you know that?" Kensi challenged. "A few minutes ago you didn't know if you'd killed her. I think stumbling home drunk with her and having sex and passing out is a lot more plausible than you having killed her."

"I didn't sleep with her."

"Why not? She's exactly your type. Pretty, blond, apparently willing."

"I'm not that guy. Not anymore. Not since—"

Deeks stopped himself then, clamping his lips shut. Kensi felt her heart thud traitorously and she kept herself from asking him what he was going to say.

"Let's just go inside," Deeks mumbled, going to open the door to the beach house. Kensi followed him inside, seeing the signs of the recent forensics investigation. Everything in the house looked slightly moved. Although the house was technically cleared and no longer considered a crime scene, Kensi pulled on gloves, and handed a pair to Deeks. They spent the next hour examining the house for anything the police might have missed. And they were frustrated to find that there wasn't any new evidence that might have helped prove Deeks' innocence.

Kensi left Deeks inside to change and she circled the outside of the house, searching for evidence of an intruder. The beach house was small, but comfortable and luxurious for its location. Kensi faced the street, the only divide between the house and the sand just beyond, the ocean only a stone's throw away. The beach was public and already beginning to fill with swimmers, surfers, and sunbathers.

Looking to her left, Kensi took in the long pier jutting from the coast and far out into the ocean. She saw people fishing from the pier and pelicans and seagulls swooping in search of their next meal. The breeze off the ocean picked up and Kensi shaded her eyes against the glare of the sun off the waves, counting half a dozen surfers waiting out on the ocean for their next surf towards the shore.

Away from Deeks for a few quiet and contemplative minutes, she could see why he enjoyed coming to the sleepy little beach town. It looked like a surfing mecca and while it probably got crowded by vacationers during the summer, it was far enough away from Los Angeles to make day trips inconvenient, which probably kept the visitor numbers down. The town sloped down from the freeway, the slow roll of the hills teeming with little shops, restaurants, beach bungalows, and lush greenery. There were even palm trees swaying in the wind. It was a beautiful place. And Kensi couldn't help but think about how Deeks had never mentioned it before.

Her phone rang and Kensi quickly answered, the additional information Nell passed along both encouraging and not. Hanging up, she circled around the back of the house, crouching down to closely examine the soil around the base of the house and the small backyard. The backyard soil was hard from weeks of less rain than usual, but the dirt around the shrubs under the bedroom window was softer from more regular watering from sprinklers.

Kensi got down on her hands and knees and examined around each shrub, looking for any helpful clue. A bit of fabric caught in the leaves, a strand of hair twisted in a branch, or a footprint in the soft dirt would have been a triumph to find. Frustrated, she was about to give up, having gotten nothing for her trouble other than mud on her knees, when she moved the branches of a shrub back to reveal the imprint of a shoe. Her heart pounding, Kensi pushed the shrub back for a clear view, taking a picture with her phone and sending it to Eric to try and identify.

The front door to the beach house slammed shut and she heard Deeks calling her name. Coming around from the back, Kensi showed him the photo of the footprint and then she called the discovery in to Gleeson. As much as she disliked the police officer, she didn't want to be accused of tampering with evidence or withholding anything.

After the police came and took a mold of the print, Deeks turned to face Kensi, his face casually expectant. "What now?"

"Did you really think I would just leave NCIS and leave our partnership without some kind of consideration?" Kensi said, the words bursting from her before she really gave herself permission to say them. After three days she couldn't keep the question plaguing her mind silent any longer.

Deeks shoved his hands in his pockets and seemed to debate whether he wanted to respond. When he finally spoke, his voice was rough and edged with anger. "Isn't that what you were doing?"

"I was only thinking about the job. Granger came to me with the offer. Only the most skilled and elite agents are asked to join the Red Team. I had to at least consider it," Kensi argued.

Deeks shrugged. "I get all that. I just don't get why you waited five days to talk to me about it if you'd already made up your mind."

"I hadn't made up my mind! That's what I've been trying to tell you. But you haven't listened. Not when I tried to tell you on Friday, and then you just left," Kensi exclaimed, taking a step closer to Deeks so they were only an arm's width away.

"Okay. I'm listening now. What did you want to tell me on Friday?" Deeks asked tiredly, clearly not expecting whatever she said to him to be anything he would want to hear.

"The first thing I asked Granger, the very first thing, right after he offered me the position, was if you could also join the Red Team."

Kensi watched in a kind of delayed, twisted satisfaction as the awareness shifted over Deeks' eyes. She'd wanted to tell him on Friday to see that light of pleasure turn his eyes excited as he looked at her. But it didn't quite feel the same now. Not after their angry exchange.

"You asked if I could go with you?"

"Of course I did. We're partners. I wasn't going to leave without you."

Kensi's words were soft and filled with far more emotion than she really wanted him to hear. But she'd been angry that he'd thought she would leave him, and hurt when he'd turned around and struck back at her by leaving him. With some time and perspective she'd almost recognized his actions. It was the kind of thing she would have done.

Deeks ran a hand through his hair, ignoring it as it stubbornly fell forward and into his eyes. "I don't know what to say."

"There's really nothing to say. I think you made yourself pretty clear on Friday. You don't see yourself leaving Los Angeles or the LAPD. You want things to stay as they are."

"I do want that," Deeks was quick to say. "But I also want you as my partner. If you leave—"

"I wasn't going to leave. Not without you," Kensi shot back.

"So you were going to stay if I didn't want to go? You were going to turn the offer down if Granger didn't approve me joining the Red Team?" Deeks asked, the surprise evident in his voice. Kensi nodded slowly. "What did Granger say?"

"He hasn't given me an answer yet. But I don't think that matters anymore," Kensi said regretfully. "I think maybe we want different things. And maybe those things are too far apart."

"Maybe they're closer than we think," Deeks offered softly. Kensi shook her head, feeling the need to regroup and rebuild. Deeks might be open and talking to her now, but the memory of Friday still burned fresh and painful. They'd lashed out at each other and in the end when she'd pushed him away, he'd gone. And he'd stayed away. It was only bad luck that had brought them back together now.

"You'd be great at it. The Red Team. You should do it, no matter what Granger says about me," Deeks paused, his admiration making her feel a little warmer despite the chill of the distance between them.

Kensi was noncommittal, afraid of what she would say if she spoke. That she didn't want to go without him. That she did love her job. That she loved being his partner. That he'd hurt her on Friday and that she'd done what seemed right by not telling him the instant Granger had offered her the job but that she regretted it now because her silence had hurt him in return.

Instead, Kensi cleared her throat, effectively changing the subject. And Deeks allowed her to do it, his eyes showing a flicker of disappointment.

"That was Nell on the phone earlier. The coroner's report shows that the woman had recently been sexually active, but no trace from the guy, so it had to have been with someone using protection," Kensi said carefully, watching Deeks for his reaction.

He drew a deep breath. "So it wasn't me?"

Kensi shook her head, wondering why the knowledge that he hadn't slept with the woman brought her such relief. She didn't want to feel relieved about his relationships with women not being physical. She didn't really want to feel anything about Deeks' physical relationships.

"They don't know who it was, just that it happened within the last twelve hours prior to her death. And Nell gave me her name," Kensi said, watching Deeks. "Shellie Stern."

Deeks shrugged, frustration clear in the furrowing of his eyebrows. "I don't remember that name. Or her. You have to believe me."

"I don't think it's important what I think," Kensi replied tiredly, trying to muster up the energy to reassure him and failing even as she'd managed to put on a brave face when she'd needed to bring Deeks out of his stupor when she'd found him in jail.

"Of course it's important. It is to me."

Turning away from the intensity in Deeks' eyes, that determined sway she knew he could have over her, Kensi gestured inland, away from the beach.

"Nell is sending me a background check on the woman. But I think the next thing we should do is go back to the last place where you remember anything happening," Kensi suggested.

Deeks squared his shoulders, letting her focus their attention back to his murder charge rather than the complexities of what was going on between them. "To the Fire Water Saloon. It's five o'clock somewhere, right?"

* * *

_To be continued_


	4. Chapter 4

**Note: **Thank you for the encouraging reviews, alerts, favorites! If you feel like pulling your pitchfork from the shed at the end of this chapter just keep in mind that I don't write unhappy endings for these characters. As always my esteem and thanks go to the fantastic trio of **MioneAlterEgo**, **Angela6257**, and **thepixiesmademedoit** for their support, friendship, willingness to listen to me yammer on, and for corrected me when I have made any number of assaults against the English language. I appreciate each and every supportive review and thanks for reading along.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"_Actions speak louder than words, Kensi. And yours say you want out and you don't care about talking to me about it."_

"_You make it sound like I need your approval, Deeks."_

"_Not my approval. But I would have thought after three years that I deserve more than a by your leave."_

"_Since that actually means I would have been asking for your permission, then it does sound as though you think I should ask for your approval."_

"_Fine. Not my approval or permission. But why didn't you talk to me about this?"_

"_First, because this isn't 1832 and I don't answer to you. Second, I was trying to work through some details before talking to you. And third, I didn't think you would freak out like this."_

"'_Freak out'? I think I have a right to be mad."_

* * *

Although Deeks didn't remember much from the night before, he did remember the location of the Fire Water Saloon. A short walk from his step dad's beach house, the bar had a colorful hand painted sign affixed over double wood doors. Kensi followed Deeks into the empty bar, pausing in the doorway to let her eyes adjust. On first glance the Fire Water Saloon looked like a typical bar with a pool table, long line of stools at the bar, and a few booths in the back.

When she could see clearly again, Kensi turned to Deeks, watching as his eyes drifted over the bar, searching for any recognition or clue that might bring back his missing memory from the night before. When he looked at her, shaking his head briefly, she knew it was all still a mystery to him.

"We're not open."

The man behind the counter spoke in a friendly but final manner. Kensi stepped forward, flipping open her badge. "Agent Kensi Blye, NCIS."

Cautiously curious, the man put down the glasses he'd been stacking and turned his full attention to them. Kensi saw the glimmer of recognition in his eyes as they fell on Deeks.

"You know him?" Kensi asked, gesturing to her partner. The man nodded.

"Sure I know him. He was in here last night. And the police were in here asking about him this morning. I'll tell you what I told them. He was here, ordered a drink and within a few minutes a blond woman sat down with him. Never seen her before. They had a couple more drinks, seemed to be having a good time, and then they left together."

Nodding, Kensi knew that version matched what was in the case file. "How long were they in here?"

"Maybe half an hour. Not longer than that."

"Did you notice anyone put anything in his drink, or hers? Did they ever leave their drinks unattended?"

The bartender shrugged. "I couldn't tell you. I serve them up, I don't keep watch of people's drinks. It's possible someone did. We were busy last night."

"Was anyone watching them? Did anyone ask about either of them after they left?"

Again, a shrug. "Not that I know of. I called my staff after the police were here and they didn't notice anything out of the ordinary either."

Deeks swore softly, catching her attention. Kensi met Deeks' eyes, knowing she saw her frustration mirrored there. They weren't getting any further than the police. At least they still had the lead on the footprint at the beach house. But it wasn't much. Not with a woman strangled, no murder weapon, inconclusive blood test results from Deeks, and no other suspect or motive for murder.

"If you think of anything, give me a call, please," Kensi requested, handing over her card to the bartender. She and Deeks turned to leave and were just at the door when the bartender called them back. "It may not be connected, but I heard this morning that the market next door had some vandalism last night. Some guy leaving the bar in a hurry crashed into the owner taking out the trash and they got into a fight, broke a window. You might want to talk to him."

Kensi nodded her thanks and Deeks followed her out of the bar. He shifted nervously and Kensi laid a hand on his arm to try and reassure him. "We've got a lead to follow, Deeks. And we've got the footprint. There's something else at work here and we'll figure it out."

Deeks have her a lopsided but worried smile. "In my head I know we will. But a woman is still dead and I'm somehow involved. And even though I feel bad about that I keep thinking about you leaving. And that seems to be a much bigger deal right now."

"A bigger deal than you going to prison for murder? Let's deal with the clear and present danger of your incarceration first, Deeks," Kensi said, trying to laugh past the intensity in Deeks' eyes. She moved to walk past him on the sidewalk but Deeks caught her hand in his, lacing their fingers together.

Kensi stopped, her breath catching at the warm feel of his hand tightening around hers, so tight that it almost hurt. And then he let go and she felt a lump catch in her throat, making it impossible to speak. She wanted to reach back for his hand but she shoved the impulse away. The gesture was a kind of sign but in the past few days she'd learned to mistrust signs. Just when she thought she understood the unsaid, the implied, and the taken-for-granted with her partner, it had been turned upside down.

She'd tried to take a leap with Deeks before. On Friday she'd tried to open up, to show him how much he meant as her partner. But he'd left her, he'd run away without looking back to see what he left behind. And even though she could be fearless about putting her life on the line, she refused to put herself out there for Deeks to disappoint her again.

Briskly straightening her spine, Kensi entered the market next to the Fire Water Saloon, noting the spider web cracked window next to the front door. The man behind the counter sported a black eye and swollen nose and was all too eager to talk once Kensi stated their interest.

"Yeah, there was a strange guy here last night. I was outside closing up and taking out the trash when he crashed into me. I told him to watch it and he blew up. Started screaming at me, he pounded on me and shoved me against the window. Then he took off down the street towards the pier."

"Did you get a good look at him?" Deeks asked. The shopkeeper shook his head.

"It was really dark and he was wearing a hooded sweatshirt. He was a pretty tall guy, white, pretty big. I called the police but they didn't seem too interested in a run of the mill assault. They said they'd send someone over later today to get my statement."

Thanking the shopkeeper, Kensi and Deeks returned to the sidewalk. She knew what Deeks was thinking without having to ask. What lead should they follow now?

Kensi glanced up and down the street, trying to consider their next move. When her phone rang Kensi was quick to answer it, hoping to get another clue to follow. She spoke to Nell for a few minutes, then hung up to pass the new information on to Deeks.

"Looks like Shellie Stern isn't a resident here either. She's from San Diego and has filed a couple of assault charges against her boyfriend, a guy named Paul Willis. He has some theft and misdemeanor charges, nothing too big. But the San Diego police are investigating him as part of a ring of drug dealers pedaling a new date rape drug down there. And she's dropped the assault charge every time. Last one was a week ago," Kensi reported.

Flipping through the new file Nell sent, Kensi handed her smart phone to Deeks so he could see the driver's license photos of Shellie Stern and Paul Willis. Deeks squinted for a second, then his face relaxed in unmistakable recognition.

"I do know her," Deeks whispered. He looked up at Kensi, clearly relieved to have some memory. Kensi remained hesitant, worried what that memory might reveal. But she had to know, had to ask.

"What do you remember?"

"She just sat down next to me, ordered the same thing I was drinking. She seemed really charged up, I figured her for just being really outgoing. I didn't really want to have a conversation with her but she was really persistent," Deeks replied. He paused then, searching for another strand of memory.

"Anything else? Anything about her boyfriend?" Kensi asked softly, wanting to try and gently pry the memories from Deeks' brain. He shook his head.

"Nothing else. This is so frustrating. Why can't I remember?" Deeks rubbed a hand over his jaw thoughtfully. "San Diego is only an hour away. Maybe she got in a fight with her boyfriend and she took off? And her boyfriend followed her and found her talking to me?"

"Maybe. Nell and Eric are running searches on him to try and see if we can locate him," Kensi replied. "He graduated from theft to drug dealing. Murder may not have been much of a leap."

"So now we wait?" Deeks asked. Kensi nodded.

"We need some results from Nell and Eric to follow. And the Oceanside Forensics Department is running your blood work again to see if that new date rape drug is there. It's so new that law enforcement is still developing protocols for identifying it."

Deeks groaned and shook his head, a ghost of a smile lifting his lips. "Man, the guys are never going to let me live it down if some jealous boyfriend took me out with a date rape drug."

Kensi put her hands on her hips and observed Deeks with a wide grin. "I think the guys are the least of your problems. What makes you think I'm going to let you live it down? Not to mention it might not have been the jealous boyfriend. It could have been the little blonde girlfriend."

Sighing dramatically, Deeks shared her grin. And Kensi had to admit that it felt good to share a light moment, even with the severity of what they were dealing with. And when her stomach growled loudly, Deeks' smile widened further.

"You hungry or something?"

"Yeah, _somebody_ pulled me out of bed before the crack of dawn. I didn't have time for breakfast."

"Then I suppose that _somebody_ should buy you some lunch," Deeks replied, gesturing towards the water. "Come on, there's a great fish and chips place at the pier."

Following Deeks willingly, they walked a couple blocks towards the oceanfront, sloping down towards the sand to a food stand with a line a dozen people deep. Kensi glanced at the sign over the window where customers ordered food, her eyebrows raised in skepticism.

"'The Tin Fish'? Really? Because I want my fresh fish to taste like it came from a can. That doesn't sound at all appetizing, Deeks," Kensi remarked.

"Don't be a hater until you try the food. The name is tongue-in-cheek. The food is amazing."

Shrugging her disbelief but content to try it anyway since Deeks was buying, Kensi let him order their food. And she had to contend that he was right, the food was undeniably delicious. They walked and ate, stopping about halfway down the pier to where the waves just began to break on their way towards shore, the height and curve perfect for surfing. Kensi leaned on the wood railing, watching as over a dozen surfers waited out on the water for a wave worth catching.

Deeks leaned on the railing next to her, his elbow nudging hers. She didn't move away, just reached over and snagged a French fry from his plate. Instead of glaring, he merely smiled and held the fries out for her to take more.

"This seems like a really nice place," Kensi remarked. "Do you come here a lot?"

"Occasionally. My step dad has pretty much held on to the property for me. Which is nice, considering."

"'Considering'? Considering what?"

"It's kind of a long story," Deeks hedged. Kensi turned to lean her back against the railing so that she could more easily look at Deeks head on. She adopted a casual stance but she was barely able to reign in her curiosity. It seemed very important that Deeks tell her what he seemed hesitant to share.

"I've got all afternoon. Or until we get another lead," Kensi replied. Deeks studied her carefully, as if he were weighing all his options, then finally nodded.

"My mom married Gary when I was thirteen. He was really good to us. He sent me to a private school, to music lessons, helped pay for my education. But he also made sure I earned my own money and that I learned the value of struggling a little. He even helped me get into college and law school."

"He must have really let you struggle if you became a stripper to make ends meet," Kensi replied, the words out before she really thought about them. Deeks sighed, a barely contained smile tugging at his mouth as he shook his head, clearly wishing he'd never revealed that secret of his past to her.

"He would have helped me then if I'd asked. But it didn't feel right, taking his money," Deeks replied, the memory of his youthful pride clearly still a strong one.

"He sounds like a good guy," Kensi replied, the broached the question that was on her mind. "Why haven't you talked about him before?"

"I haven't talked about him before because when I was a second year law student my mom got in a car accident that left her technically still alive, but brain functionally dead. And she was in the accident with the man she was having an affair with."

Kensi felt her jaw drop at this surprising news. Deeks had a past she was totally unaware of. For a second she was angry because he'd never told her. But directing the focus of her anger back at herself, she felt the guilt surge. He'd never told her, but then she'd never asked. But she could ask now.

"Your mom, is she still alive?"

Deeks quietly stared out at the ocean for a few minutes before he turned his head to look at her. "She was completely brain dead without any hope of her recovery. Her will didn't leave any specific instructions. Gary was understandably upset about the affair and didn't want to make the decision about taking her off of life support in anger so he let me decide. She died ten years ago."

"I don't know what to say," Kensi said quietly. Deeks shrugged as if to say it didn't bother him, when clearly even a decade later it still did.

"You don't have to say anything. I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to look at me like that," Deeks replied, scrutinizing her face. "Like you pity me."

"I don't pity you, Deeks. Compassion and understanding are not pity."

"Neither are they usually feelings in Kensi Blye's emotional toolbox," Deeks replied sharply. Kensi reeled back, stung at his words.

"Hey, what have I done to deserve that?" Kensi replied, unable to hide the hurt she felt. Deeks pressed his mouth together, unwilling to answer, and she pressed on. "This after you ran away on Friday, practically gave up on our partnership, after you—"

_Abandoned me. _Kensi caught the words before she spoke them but Deeks shot a glance at her, knowing her well enough to know what she'd almost said.

"I did not abandon you, Kensi. I needed some air, I needed a few days to clear my head. I thought you were the one leaving me for another job. A weekend away doesn't mean forever."

"I didn't know that! You just left without a word and I didn't hear from you. Besides, I wasn't leaving NCIS, not without you!"

"And I didn't know that either!"

They both halted then, realizing their voices had reached a volume that might attract attention. Deeks caught her eye, a flash of regret passing over his face.

"You weren't going to leave without me before, but what about now?"

Kensi shook her head helplessly. "I don't know. I honestly don't."

Deeks turned away from her so she couldn't see his face, couldn't see how her words had affected him. She didn't know if he was angry or sad, or just simply resigned. When he didn't turn back she realized she desperately needed some space of her own.

"I'm going to go get some water," Kensi mumbled, walking several hundred feet further down the pier to the built in bait shop on the north side of the pier's wooden railing. Buying two bottles of water, Kensi was heading back towards Deeks, the sun shining brightly in her eyes and making her squint.

What she saw had her dropping the bottles of water and running from a dead stop, her feet pounding on the wooden planks of the pier. A large man wearing a hooded sweatshirt was struggling with Deeks, his hands around her partner's neck. And he'd managed to lift Deeks up and off his feet, pushing him back and over the railing of the pier.

Kensi was still too far away to do anything but watch in horror as the man let go with a final shove and Deeks' footing and balance tipped and he disappeared over the wood railing, falling to the ocean below.

* * *

_To be continued_


	5. Chapter 5

**Note: **Sorry if the cliffhanger from Chapter 4 left anyone in distress! I would never permanently harm Deeks or Kensi, just put them in a little bit of danger now and then. I'll finish this story off with a last big THANK YOU to my fellow Texans, **MioneAlterEgo **and **Angela6257**. For betaing, listening, helping, and so much more. And thanks to all of you who may have been following along, read, alerted, favorited, reviewed, and hopefully enjoyed this story. I've very much appreciated that you felt compelled to comment and took the time. This is the end (for now), and I hope you enjoy the conclusion. Thanks for reading and reviewing if you do!

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"_I think we have different ways of seeing this. And you're not even willing to listen to what I have to say."_

"_I'm willing to listen. I'm just not going to be an afterthought."_

"_You were not an afterthought. Stop acting like I left you at the prom to go home with another guy!"_

"_So because I'm angry that you're going to throw away our partnership it means I'm being too sensitive? Nice, Kensi."_

"_That's not what I meant and you know it. I was offered a position on the Red Team and I said I would think about it."_

"_You say that, but I can tell your mind is made up."_

"_Stop putting words in my mouth! And stop being afraid of things changing."_

"_So now I'm sensitive and scared. That's just great."_

"_If the shoe fits."_

"_Is this what we're going to do now, you insult me and I'm just supposed to take it?"_

"_I'm not insulting you, I'm trying to get you to hear me."_

"_I guess we disagree on that then."_

"_Apparently it's not the only thing we disagree on."_

"_Is this what we are now? Just a bunch of irreconcilable differences?"_

"_I don't know. Is that all you think we have?"_

"_You know what? I can't talk to you about this right now."_

* * *

Watching Deeks thrown off the Oceanside Pier, Kensi was certain she'd never been more terrified in her life. Seeing him being shot at when they were on a case or chasing a criminal was hard but instantly over. She always knew within seconds that he was fine. When he'd been shot and she kept vigil in the hospital waiting for him to wake up that had been difficult, but even then the doctor had assured her he would be okay. She had certainly been anxious, but it was nothing like watching her partner dropped from a height of over a hundred feet into the cold ocean below, not knowing if he survived the fall.

Kensi screamed Deeks' name, rushing to the railing of the pier in time to see that he'd fallen below the surface of the water, her eyes scanning for him and praying his head would pop up and reassure her. People on the pier who had seen the struggle and watched as Deeks went over the railing crowded the edge next to her. In the back of her mind Kensi knew the man who'd thrown him off the pier was getting away, running and putting distance between her and perhaps her only chance to clear Deeks' name.

She allowed a quick glance towards the shore, seeing the tall man in a dark hooded sweatshirt beginning to disappear from her sight as he ran down the pier. Kensi tore her eyes away, knowing she would have only a minimal physical description that wouldn't help her identify the man later. But she couldn't go after him, not until she knew that Deeks was okay.

Within seconds Deeks ended her worried waiting when he came to the surface, quickly shaking his head, water churning around him as he began to tread water. Considering the man had been choking Deeks when he'd thrown him over, Kensi felt relief wash over her in a wave, her body instantly relaxing. Although he was far enough away and the ocean breeze would have stolen anything he tried to yell to her, she instantly recognized the gestures he was making with his arms.

Heeding his suggestion, she took off at a run down the pier in pursuit of the man who had attacked Deeks. Knowing the man had taken off and that she would be waiting for a signal from Deeks, he'd pointed towards the shore, telling her all she needed to know. He would catch up to her and he was okay.

Feeling the adrenaline rush of finally having a suspect to track down and a real lead to follow that might result in exonerating Deeks, Kensi picked up speed as she ran. The man had a significant head start but from a distance she could see that he'd slowed down, confident she wasn't following him. She cursed when he glanced back and saw her chasing him and began to run again.

In the back of her mind Kensi tried not to worry about Deeks getting to land from more than a quarter mile off the shore. She knew he was a strong swimmer. And with any luck one of the surfers in the water had seen and swam over to help.

She was reaching the end of the pier and gaining ground on the man when he veered north towards a parking lot adjacent to the road by the beach. Kensi rounded the staircase leading down the pier towards the beach, taking the steps three at a time and hitting the pavement hard enough to knock her teeth together.

Realizing the man could get to a car and get away, Kensi cut across the road, ignoring the honking horns and barely missed getting hit by a passing car, and she tackled the man, throwing them both against the sand. The man was tall and easily outweighed her but thankfully broke her fall. And she could tell she'd knocked the wind out of him because he didn't move for several seconds.

Knowing she didn't have much time before he came around and could potentially physically overpower her, Kensi flipped the man over, pulling his arms back and using a zip tie to handcuff him. For good measure she tied his feet together as well, then turned him back over so she could see his face. With satisfaction she recognized Paul Willis, criminal boyfriend of the murdered woman found with Deeks.

"Did you get lost on your way to your drug dealer's house?" Kensi asked, trying to breathe evenly as her heart rate began to slow down. Willis looked at her worriedly but also defiantly, traces of anger screwing his face up into a scowl.

"That bastard slept with my girlfriend. He had it coming, just like she did."

Kensi smiled and shook her head in amusement. Willis was so angry and out of control that he was hand delivering his confession. "So you killed Shellie Stern?"

"Damn right. We had a fight and Shellie took off, then she sent me some cryptic text that she'd met some guy at this bar in Oceanside and I show up and find out they're gone. The bitch actually had the nerve to text me his address. I got to his house and found Shellie naked with him in bed!"

Taking a quick look at Willis's shoes, she noted the tread seemed similar to the footprint she'd found outside Deeks' beach house.

"I knocked and she answered the door with just a sheet on. She had this smile on her face, rubbing it in. She didn't see me coming though. Shellie tried to tell me some bullshit story about how she didn't sleep with him, just drugged him and got him back to the house so she could make it look like she slept with him to make me jealous."

Kensi shook her head in disgust. "Well, the joke's on you then. She didn't sleep with him."

Willis fell silent from his ranting, digesting the new piece of information. Then he paled, his eyes widening almost comically. "She didn't? She was just trying to make me jealous?"

Kensi let the new information sink in, glancing back at the ocean. She saw Deeks wading through thigh high waves towards shore, sharing a handshake with a surfer who helped him partway on his board. His clothes soaked all the way through, Deeks had ditched his shoes and jacket in the ocean and his wet t-shirt clung to his body while his jeans barely managed to stay on his hips.

From a distance Kensi heard sirens approaching and she knew the police and paramedics would arrive soon. She left Willis on the sand, knowing he couldn't go anywhere. A sunbather offered Kensi a beach towel and she took it, taking long strides over the sand until Deeks was right in front of her.

He shivered, the breeze from off the ocean obviously making his clothing feel cold and heavy in the chilly spring air. Kensi quickly wrapped the blanket around his shoulders, making sure it was against his neck to help warm him. Her arms around him were meant to be brisk and professional but she couldn't deny she leaned in close and it was more a hug to reassure herself Deeks was fine.

Deeks surprised her then, his arms going around her waist as he pulled her up against him. He was wet and cold but she didn't think or try and process what she was doing. She immediately returned the embrace, feeling her own tremble as he ducked his head, his wet face against her neck. Just a few weeks earlier he'd nearly been drowned by some easily irritated Russian mobsters and she'd resisted hugging him. This was different. This was needing to know he was in one piece after she'd witnessed him nearly strangled and almost drowned.

"I'm okay, Kensi," Deeks murmured, his voice reassuring in her ear. And she felt the sting and burn in her eyes, the realization that after everything he'd just been through,_ he_ was assuring _her_ that he was safe. All she could do was nod since she didn't trust herself to speak and not give herself completely away. Her palms flat against his shoulder blades, Kensi rubbed in slow circles over the towel to try and warm him up a little, then moved her hands up to his neck, finding his hair still wet and dripping.

Although Deeks didn't seem in a rush to let her go, she gently pulled at the towel around his shoulders, loosening it so she could cover his head to try and rub some of the moisture from his hair.

"We need to get your hair dry so your head isn't soaked. You'll catch a cold," Kensi whispered.

Deeks shook his head and mumbled against her neck. "Don't care. You're warm."

His last word had been punctuated by his arms tightening around her and Kensi felt the answering leap of her heart. Although he was warming up against her, Kensi was suddenly aware of their public setting, the lack of space between their bodies, and how little she cared about either factor.

"Well, you'll make me catch a cold then," Kensi replied, the admonishment gentle in her voice. Deeks sighed, releasing her so she could step away and see that the paramedics had arrived and were making their way towards Deeks. A few minutes after the EMTs had started to examine Deeks a police cruiser pulled up and Officer Gleeson arrived, shaking his head at the sight of Paul Willis hogtied on the sand and Deeks looking as though he'd nearly drowned.

Approaching Kensi, he gave her a grudgingly admiring smile. "You've been in my town all of three hours and this is the mess you make?"

Kensi smiled in return, gesturing to Willis. "I'm pretty sure I caught your murderer for you. Now it's up to you to get his confession written and signed. It sounds like Shellie Stern tried to use Deeks to make her boyfriend jealous. She just didn't count on how jealous he would be."

"I'll take him in and get the details. He'll probably lawyer up but your office has been forwarding me incriminating stuff all morning. Really high quality information on the drug dealing this guy was a part of, stuff it would take me months to get. Who are you guys?"

Kensi shook her head. "Nobody really. But I would like to get my partner into some dry clothes. Then do you need us to come back to the station?"

Gleeson agreed to process Willis and fill them in when they returned to the police station. The paramedics gave Deeks a clean bill of health and Kensi led Deeks back to his beach house so he could change. She followed him into the bedroom, watching as he sifted through his duffel bag.

"Between the police taking some of my clothes and now the ocean soaking most of the rest, I don't really have much to wear," Deeks commented. When he looked up he grinned slyly at her. "Kensi? A little privacy? Unless you'd like me to give you a show. Or jump with me into the shower."

Kensi realized she'd been hovering in the doorway, watching Deeks as though she were afraid to let him out of her sight. And even though his last few sentences had been phrased as playful statements, the implied questions flustered her in a way she wasn't sure they would have before that hug on the beach. Embarrassed at being caught lurking, Kensi spun on her heel and exited to the kitchen, uselessly washing some dishes in the sink until Deeks returned, freshly showered and in dry clothes.

Deeks looked at her, his eyes studied and serious, his expression unreadable. And that bothered Kensi because she almost always could tell what he was thinking. Deeks was usually an open book to her. But the way he was looking at her was new. New and full of something inexplicably grateful and intimate.

"Thank you, Kensi."

She stopped drying dishes and faced him fully. "What for?"

"For coming when I called you. For asking Granger if I could join the Red Team with you. For putting up with me when I blow things out of proportion. For believing in me. And for helping me when you didn't have to."

Perplexed, Kensi shrugged. "There is no 'have to,' Deeks. We're partners, it's what we do."

"It's not just that. And you know it."

She couldn't argue with him. Not when he was right and calling her on her evasiveness. But she also couldn't think past that intimate embrace on the beach. Not that she didn't want to. But she couldn't. Not with how things were and not with how things had to stay.

Not sure what to say, and the silence full of expectation she wasn't sure she would ever be brave enough to affirm, Kensi was both relieved and disappointed when her phone rang. She answered, speaking to Officer Gleeson another few minutes and then hanging up and turning to Deeks with a smile.

"Looks like you've been given the all clear, Deeks. The second blood test found the date rape drug in your system. And Paul Willis pretty much confessed to everything. He slept with his girlfriend yesterday afternoon, they got into a fight, she took off and taunted him into coming to Oceanside."

"So she did drug me?"

"Looks like she did. She must have helped you stumble home, got you partially undressed and into bed before texting Willis. You were probably out of it at that point, Willis showed up and left that footprint outside your house, then he knocked and Shellie answered."

"Eric got a match on the footprint?" Deeks asked.

"Willis is a pretty big guy, size sixteen shoes. And the tread was the same. Eric also confirmed the text message exchange. This all would have come out eventually with a little more time for the police to investigate. We just helped them along," Kensi confirmed with a nod.

"So, what? Willis comes in, gets mad and then strangled Shellie Stern? And then he just left her there? If he was so pissed off why didn't he kill me then?" Deeks wondered.

"Officer Gleeson said Willis wanted to frame you for the murder. He 'anonymously' called the police and tipped them off so they came to your beach house this morning. It wasn't until later that Willis thought about it and decided he wanted you dead as well. And apparently he heard that you were released from jail and he hung around waiting for his chance."

"Which is when he forced me into taking a header into the Pacific Ocean."

"Not the brightest of criminals. It isn't as though the fall was likely to kill you," Kensi commented.

"No, but he did a pretty good job of trying to wring my neck before throwing me off the pier," Deeks replied, gingerly touching his neck where Kensi could see a light bruise was beginning to form. She stepped forward, leaning in so she could examine him for herself. And although she didn't touch him, Kensi could swear she saw his pulse jump below the surface of the skin under his jaw.

"Poor baby, but you look fine," Kensi replied, lightly teasing. She lifted her eyes to look at him, realizing she was close enough that if she turned her head just to the left her nose would brush his chin. She hoped for his typical response to her teasing, that easy smile and answering gleam in his eyes that would tell her they were okay, that they could get past their recent disagreement.

Deeks didn't disappoint, his eyes nearly twinkling in response. "You were worried about me. Don't try and deny it, I could tell. On the beach you had that little furrow between your eyes. And those serious, serious eyes."

Kensi chuckled, neither confirming or denying. She fell silent, the relief of the current moment still a little overshadowed by the events of the past week, and their angry words on the Friday before. Trying to look past her hurt, she could see that while the argument and Deeks' leaving had hurt, what he'd done had been a reaction to her actions.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Granger's offer. And what I was trying to work on behind the scenes," Kensi whispered the words, knowing they were crystal clear in the silence of the house. And she knew Deeks had heard them by how his eyes widened in amazement. And with a slight sense of guilt she realized she didn't say she was sorry very often. Usually because apologies between her and Deeks weren't really necessary. They had an unsaid understanding. But every once in awhile she went too far, or he did, and this was one of those times.

"I'm sorry, too. I should have had a little more patience to listen to what you were trying to tell me. I just heard what I thought you were saying and—" Deeks paused, taking a deep breath. "—I got scared. I thought of you leaving and I just couldn't process it. So I didn't, and I made a mess of things as a result."

Kensi knew Deeks was also referring to how he'd been framed for murder, inadvertently because he'd taken off to clear his head. But she was stuck back on his confession of his fear that she was leaving him. And that was what she held on to. The anger and hurt she let go of.

Deeks kept talking, as though a dam had been broken. "I'm sorry I said what I did, about you leaving me even when I know how you feel about people leaving—"

"It's okay."

"I really don't think it is. I wish you'd let me—"

"Really, Deeks. It's okay." _Believe me. _Kensi implored him with her eyes, his gaze back at hers still uncertain.

"I'm not sure that it is."

Deeks voice was filled with frustrated regret, distress at how he thought his words had hurt her. Kensi knew he'd stepped over a line he hadn't wanted to cross. As much as Kensi hated fear, she understood it. Especially the emotional kind that had driven Deeks. But after all they'd been through that day, from when he'd first seen her in the jail and looked at her as though she was his only hope to Kensi's undeniable breathless relief that he was safe, she could forgive.

"I'm saying it's okay."

Kensi emphasized her words, reaching out to lace Deeks' fingers with hers, an offer of her hand for him to take. And when he took it without hesitation, finally nodding in agreement, Kensi felt the remnants of their misunderstanding vanish.

"What are you going to do now? If Granger offers you the Red Team position? And if he doesn't, can we still be partners?" Deeks asked, uncertainty clouding his eyes. And there was nothing more she wanted to do than banish that look from his face.

"We're partners, no matter what happens. If Granger says we can both join the Red Team then we need to decide if we both want to do that. If he says no, then we stay partners at NCIS," Kensi replied firmly. Deeks' grin was slow, but wide and confident.

"Yeah?" Kensi nodded in answer to his question and his smile deepened as his voice warmed. "No irreconcilable differences?"

Kensi shook her head, knowing that while there was plenty unsaid between them, partners they would stay. She wasn't going to be the one to change that. It wasn't what either of them wanted. They just weren't always good at admitting such attachments to each other. But then she grinned, not able to resist a parting shot. "Just the regular kind of differences that we deal with every day."

Deeks chuckled in response, running a hand through his hair and then tucking his hands in his pockets as if he weren't sure where to put them. He'd taken a half step forward and Kensi belatedly realized he'd been moving to hug her. But he'd held back, as if he realized their moment on the beach had changed things, as if he knew there was a next step to take that he was equally uncertain how to handle.

They would figure it out. Kensi really could say how, but the hardest question had already been answered. It was also the easiest answer. They were partners.

Kensi's phone rang and she reached for it, her breath catching when she saw the caller ID. Granger. She held it up for Deeks to see, the flicker of anticipation in his blue eyes making her wonder what he wanted Granger to say. Stay or go? NCIS or Red Team?

Kensi held the phone out between them, activating the speaker feature and accepting the call at the same time so Deeks would also hear Granger's decision. She looked up and met Deeks' eyes, absolutely certain that her path forward, whatever it was, would be with Deeks at her side.

"Hello?"

END


End file.
